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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22835227">Pussycat, Pussycat, Where Have You Been?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Changeling_Lili/pseuds/Changeling_Lili'>Changeling_Lili</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu, Dracula - Bram Stoker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover, F/F, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:16:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22835227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Changeling_Lili/pseuds/Changeling_Lili</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Crew of Light has gathered, but Mina begins to experience strange and disturbing dreams.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jonathan Harker/Mina Harker, Mina Harker/Carmilla Karnstein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pussycat, Pussycat, Where Have You Been?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mina Harker’s Journal – 1 October, Night</p>
<p>Spent most of the day resting and trying not to dwell on the awful nightmares I’d had. Such vivid and unsettling images! But I know it is all my memories of the things poor Lucy told me, all taking root in my mind to form into such horrors.<br/>Was finally feeling better toward evening, so I decided to take a walk around the grounds before dinner.  As I approached the far wall, I thought I saw a motion in the shadows which somehow made me instinctively flinch away. Having no patience left for how my mind seems to be playing tricks on me (surely from overwork and worry!) I rallied and instead drew closer to see what it was. Surely a rabbit or bird. I was surprised to see instead a large cat. There are no cats attached to Dr Seward’s household, I am sure, and yet this one was a fine looking creature, quite large and covered in luxurious dark fur that was long and appeared soft and glossy.  The cat sat up in that regal way they have, regarding me and I suppose my natural maternal instincts found the animal impossible to resist, for the next thing I knew I was kneeling down with the intention of gathering the cat into my arms and taking it back up with me to find food and a bed for it!<br/>The cat seemed quite tame, despite its unusual size, and allowed me to bundle it up under my shawl and carry it away. As we walked back to the house it reached up to my face with one paw and I could feel how soft and warm it was when it touched my face in a strangely human gesture. That little paw seemed so loving in a way that all the strain and horror of these last months told on me once again and I was fighting back tears for a moment. But no matter! The cat is now settled beside me as I write in the study, tucked into a contented shape with its eyes closed and I will set up a bed for it in the room Jonathan and I have been given. I am sure such a sweet peaceful friend will help calm us both in the days ahead and I am happy to have found it.</p>
<p>2 October<br/>My hopes for the cat to be a calming presence were all misplaced! After I had seen it settled into its makeshift bed I settled into my own for a much-needed rest, only to find as I was drifting off into sleep that the cat had decided to join me. They are willful creatures, I know, and the weight of the soft body as it pressed its way along my side was such a comfort to me that I could hardly be sorry the cat did not agree with my plans for its accommodations. I fell into a deep sleep and had a strangely vivid dream of beautiful dark-haired girl. She was sitting next to me in a dark room and stroking my hand while she gazed at me with an intensity that made my head swim. Although she did not resemble her, I felt as if I were with Lucy again, sharing the confidences of our hearts.  I cannot recall her voice, but when I woke up I knew she had told me an awful story of meeting a tall dark man at a ball, and of him coming to her and doing awful things, and then she was asking me over and over to tell her – what? She was entreating me to unburden myself of some horror but there my memory fades. <br/>Sometime in the night - it must have been while I was lost in this unsettling dream! - Jonathan returned home and made his way to bed without me ever waking. <br/>This morning before I was even up and about he came and sat on the edge of the bed, looking fatigued and red-eyed.  I was still laying with the cat snuggled close against my chest. He asked where it had come from, and I told of my walk the previous evening. His voice was raspy as he went on,<br/>“Well, at least the cat is real enough by daylight! I woke in the night with an awful sense of being strangled, as if my throat were closing and I could barely take a breath. I would have sworn it was a nightmare, but it’s good to know there’s a simple enough explanation for this!”<br/>Not wanting to trouble him with my own bad dreams I asked him to go on.<br/>“When I was a boy I wished to have a cat of my own, but as soon as I was given a kitten I learned I couldn’t hold it near or give it kisses without just such a reaction. I’m terribly sorry, you seem to be quite taken with the cat but there is no way we can keep it here.”<br/>I must have looked sad at this, as he immediately promised to look into a dog, or a rabbit, or any pet my heart might desire, but I reminded him that our love would always win out over anything else in the world so naturally I would find another home for the cat.<br/>Jonathan had already dressed and had plans with the other men so I was left to prepare at my leisure. As I was dressing I kept up a rather one-sided conversation with the cat, who remained on the bed appearing to be asleep but with ears twitching in a way that made it seem my words were being closely attended. I told of how worried I’ve been for everyone’s safety and how much I miss having Lucy to tell all my inner thoughts and feelings to. I am not sure what it is about a silent cat that makes it such an excellent confidant, but I would certainly recommend it to anyone needing to unburden herself!<br/>Once I was ready to go down to a late breakfast I felt much lighter and more hopeful than I have in ages. <br/>I brought the cat along, thinking I might find a place for her in the kitchens. </p>
<p>Later:<br/>My plan to give the cat a new home took an odd turn!  I was carrying her – as I now know this cat is without doubt a “her” but I will come to that – past the study when Dr Seward emerged. I remembered poor Mr. Renfield all of a sudden and had an immediate conviction that this cat would find a better home as a companion to him. <br/>I stopped and said, “Oh, Doctor! Please may I be taken back to Mr. Renfield’s room?”<br/>It must have been clear from my bundle what was on my mind, for Seward furrowed his brow and said,<br/>“Mrs. Harker, surely you know what a dangerous situation that may be for the cat! I will confess I had thought of it myself; I do have a certain scientific curiosity in the matter, but you have read all my research notes and you are aware of my patient’s . . . particular mania.”<br/>“Of course!” I held the animal tighter at the thought of there being any real danger. “I will introduce them and supervise the meeting, and I just know somehow this will benefit that poor man! Consider it intuition on my part. And besides, no one can form an emotional bond with a fly, or a spider, but a cat can be pure love in a way lesser things cannot.” <br/>As I was speaking, the others had entered the hall to see what the interruption was about and they gathered round us all admiring the cat in my arms.<br/>“Ah!” exclaimed Dr. Van Helsing, “Here in your England I have heard such things may wandering the moors be seen! The small cat on the hearth is nothing to the strange creatures which even in the eighteenth century were told! Is it that while we hard at work on our larger mystery, you have in your hands a smaller mystery?”<br/>“Nonsense, Doctor,” said Arthur, “Why, Quincey and I have seen cats just like this one, while we were travelling through Norway. The locals say they come from a long line of such magnificent creatures they trace back to their viking ancestors. May I pet it?” <br/>The cat had been regarding all with a look that seemed to contain a human intelligence. I suppose that is why the poor dears were considered witches back in more barbaric times. “I’m sure you may, it seems quite tame,” I replied, but even as I said it I knew tame was not at all the right word.</p>
<p>After everyone who wanted to had a chance to scratch the cat behind its ears and tell it what a good kitty it was, Dr Seward escorted me to the hospital wing and led me through the now-familiar series of doors to Renfield’s chamber, where I was asked to wait outside. Once I was called into the room I saw that poor man sitting in his chair by the window, a grave expression on his face. <br/>“Madam, I am honored by your appearance, yet saddened. I had hoped you might leave this place, and all it holds for you-- is that a cat?”<br/>“Yes, Mr. Renfield, this cat is already a very dear friend to me, and is all love and kindness. I thought we both might visit to cheer you.”<br/>“Oh, a fine cat! And not just any cat! No, she is truly a Queen. The Master may think He rules over all, but how wrong he will find himself in Her illustrious presence!”<br/>I felt a little alarmed by his seeming relapse into his madness, but felt I could press him a little on this point so long as he remained in a good mood.<br/>“How do you know it is a ‘she’? And whatever do you mean by speaking of this master? Surely cats do not recognise such a thing!”<br/>By now the cat was pressing herself forward, making it clear she intended to leave my arms for the table and so I allowed her to do so.  She sat up tall and regarded the strange man with an uncanny solemn expression, then walked to the edge of the table, where she was close enough to sniff at him.<br/>“This fine lady has many concerns one as good and pure as yourself should never hear of. Or should you? You are paler since I last saw you; shall you grow paler yet or return to rest easy in the light?”<br/>The cat was looking from him to me, and I could nearly see a smile on its dear little face. If cats truly do smile, this one was enjoying the odd turn the conversation had taken. <br/>“Now, if she is a fine lady as you say, you would never harm her would you? She’s already very dear to me and I would like for her to stay over for a longer visit. I was hoping she might make a good companion and comfort for you but I must know she will be looked after properly!”<br/>“Harm her? Never! I wouldn’t dream of such a thing!”<br/>“Not like your spiders and birds then, you promise? You must swear it to me!”<br/>“Spiders and birds! Ha! I would give all such lower creatures to her if she wished it! But for myself, I think I am now a man who has seen beyond the childish fancies I once had. Let me discuss these things with her and I shall see further yet!  As for you, you need never worry for your friend’s safety. I offer her a home, and you may come and visit and she may visit you whenever you like.”</p>
<p>Although I felt contented that my intuition had been correct, and Mr. Renfield would not consider such an endearing animal a food source, I asked the attendants to look in on the room periodically and pass along word of how things were progressing.  <br/>In the afternoon, just after tea, I received and update on the situation, saying that the cat had spent most of the day sleeping and that now as the light was fading she was up and about once more. Man and cat were sitting at the table, heads close together in an appearance of rapt conversation. No one could make  out what Renfield was saying beyond the occasional expression of surprise and indignation, after which he would resume a furious intent whispering into the cat’s luxuriantly furred ear.</p>
<p>I retired to bed free of worries, and here I am catching up in this journal before I sleep. I am tired, but  have left the gaslight burning and turned all the way down in case my nightmares return. </p>
<p>3 October – Morning <br/>A stranger night than any yet! <br/>I had fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep, I know not for how long, but was all of a sudden awake and filled with an awareness that someone else was in the room.  I turned to see Jonathan beside me, still fast asleep, and before I could call out to wake him I felt a presence on my other side and turned quickly back to see.  It was the beautiful girl from my dream, as real as anything else in my surroundings, laying at length alongside me.  She gestured to me to be quiet and bent close to speak in a low, sweet tone.<br/>“He has already been in such danger; best to leave him out of this tonight. Besides, I think I would like to borrow this and I think he may have objections.” She held up the large kukri knife Jonathan has taken to carrying. It looked even more cruel and dangerous in her slender, graceful hand. <br/>At the sight of the knife, everything felt like a dream again, yet still more real somehow, as if dreams and waking life had been laying on top of each other and now twisted and bled into each other. <br/>I whispered as quietly as I knew how, “Who are you?”<br/>She smiled and draped one leg over me, pulling herself on top of my body. I was aware of how much stronger than me she must be. She stroked my face with her free hand and said, “But how could you forget me so soon? We talked at length just last night!”<br/>“You are from my dream then! And . . . your name is Carmilla I think. When did you tell me?”<br/>“Oh, we told each other so many things! You told me things you do not want to remember by your waking life, and I shall make much use of them, my dear!”<br/>All this time she had been pressing against me, like the current of a river insinuating itself along the length of my body. She had undone the top of my nightdress and was stroking my neck and gazing at the skin there with the oddest mixture of sadness and anger, yet I felt safe and warm.<br/>After I know not how much time has passed, she looked back to my face and spoke. <br/>“I would stay the whole night again, and so many nights after, but I have a greater purpose. I have pursued this for too long to be distracted when the end is at last within reach.”<br/>I must have looked confused at this, for she was clearly referring to something beyond my knowledge.<br/>She made no attempt to explain, though, and leaned down to kiss me right on the side of my neck, where she had been staring so intently. I should have been frightened with all the awful things we have all suffered, but there was no bite. She lingered, and I remembered pain, but not from her. It was a pain I had not wanted – that I do not want to think of -  that she was now washing away from my skin. She moved slowly up to my face, and looked deeply into my eyes.<br/>“Know this, then, before I leave you.  I have long pursued vengeance. It will be all the sweeter knowing that my vengeance shall be your salvation!” With this, she kissed me full on the mouth. I was lost in it, kissing her back, and feeling as if I were on fire and my spirit had overrun the boundaries of my flesh with all the passion flowing between us. Perhaps I should not be recounting this in such terms, but I do not wish to have secrets. In any case, when I was aware again of my surroundings she was gone, and despite the shocking encounter I must have fallen immediately into a deep sleep once again for the next thing I knew the morning sun fell bright across the bedclothes, and I was alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jonathan Harker’s Journal – 3 October<br/>I must make a record of what has happened today, quickly, so I can be sure I am including the details to the best of my memory. This latest turn of events defies explanation to such an extreme it seems as if a divine hand has at last reached down to end our suffering!<br/>I was woken by a knock at the door before dawn, in the hour when the darkness is so absolute as to make rising from bed feel impossible – but I did rise, and quickly, so that Mina might sleep on undisturbed. I made it to the door before the knock could sound again and found Van Helsing, Seward, Art and Quincey all waiting in the hall. As they hurried me downstairs and outside they took it in turn to fill me in on what had disturbed them all.  Seward had been awoken by an attendant, who warned him that Renfield was up and making a commotion. When he arrived he found his patient standing upon his chair, face pressed up to the window calling out gleefully to someone he called his “Queen” - encouragement to do grave violence mixed with the statement “she will be saved!” over and over.  Seward also said the cat was missing, which I hope does not mean it has suffered some ill fate! But I must not worry about something so trivial and keep to the main facts!<br/>Seward had been preparing a sedative injection for the raving man, when a horrible cry arose from the direction of the abbey next door. Within minutes Van Helsing had hurried down to find Seward, calling out, “Nosferatu! No man who have heard that cry could forget it! Quickly, friend John, we must investigate!” <br/>Knowing the safety in numbers, they’d gathered the rest of us and we all rushed to see what had happened.  On gaining entry to the chapel by the side door we were struck by the sickly metallic odor that warned us blood had already been spilt – and in great quantity.  Fanning out into the room we stopped short at the incredible sight before us. There, amidst the ruin of several boxes that had been smashed to splinters and scattered mouldering clods of earth, lay the Count. He was sprawled on his back, face covered in vicious marks as if clawed by a wild beast, and with a knife that inexplicably proved to be my own jutting from a jagged gaping wound in his chest. At the very moment we entered it seemed a dark shadow, blacker than those cast by our lamps, flowed away from his side and I heard feminine laughter which though I loathe to write the words reminded me of nothing so much as those vicious creatures I had encountered in his castle.  <br/>We closed in around the seeming helpless body, my hand instinctively reaching for the knife I then found to be missing. Thankfully, Quincey had the same idea and his Bowie was at the ready. I flinched when I saw the wound, for as much hatred as I may feel for the Count it was a terrible sight  - ribs snapped and exposed, and a raw wet hole where a heart had until recently resided.<br/>As we all stood amazed by the sight, the body crumbled away into dust, motes of which rose to drift away on the rays of morning sun breaking through the high windows. <br/>I felt a strange peace, the likes of which I will never forget, to know that our ordeal was at last over.</p>
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